


Does It Matter

by VoidSpace



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Aliens, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, Crying, Drug Use, Emotional, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mental Anguish, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 01:45:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18982681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoidSpace/pseuds/VoidSpace
Summary: Rick should have noticed, should have been strong, should have been there but that doesn't happen.





	Does It Matter

Rick stepped through the portal with Morty following close behind. His trade had been a bust, the aliens he’d been dealing with had decided they didn’t like Rick’s prices. Nothing a few shots to the head couldn’t fix, but now Rick needed to find new clients. He wasn’t worried about it really; it was an inconvenience at worst. He dropped the bags he’d been carrying on the floor and motioned for Morty to do the same. 

“You - you doing okay, Morty?” Rick took a drink from his flask then looked over at Morty.

“Yeah.” Morty’s one-word reply didn’t sit well with Rick; he eyeballed his grandson suspiciously. He’d been acting weirder than usual the last few trips, and it was getting on Rick’s last nerves now.

“Th-that’s it, no complaining, I mean you’re usually full of them, oh grandpa Rick - uurrpp- let-let me take the high road and bitch and moan about how un-un-unethical you are.” Rick finished off in a mocking voice, expecting something out of the kid, but instead, Morty just blushed, rubbed his arm bashfully and looked away.

“Goddamnit Morty, what - what the hell is your problem?” Rick drank some more not wanting to deal with Morty’s weirdness right now. 

“I-I actually…” Morty paused, and Rick watched him curiously. “I-I wanted to tell you s-s-something, Rick-” He coughed and then froze again he looked like he was rethinking his decision. 

Rick sighed, “come on Morty, grandpa hasn’t got all day, I go-gotta get some new clients, just spit it out what the hell do you have to say, Morty?” There was a long moment where Rick just stared at him, then it happened.

“This.” Morty’s one-word reply was accompanied with him lunging himself at Rick way too fast. 

Before Rick could even catch on to what was happening, Morty's arms were wrapped around his neck, and he was kissing him. He froze for the first time in his adult life as Morty’s lips moved against his. His sixteen-year-old grandson was trying to make out with him and the realization of how fucked up it was struck him.

He shoved Morty away harsher than he ever had before, causing his grandson to fall on the floor. Rick instinctively looked over Morty to make sure he hadn’t hurt him before going off on him. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Morty?!” He snapped and watched Morty wince like he’d been slapped.

“I-I’m s-s-sorry, Rick, I’ve just…for a-a w-while now…” Morty had the nerve to look away nervously again and chew his lip. 

It was cute, it was disgusting, and Rick knew that he’d fucked up. His rational thoughts dwarfed as he remembered all the instances he’d probably inadvertently led Morty on. All the inappropriate shit he’d said and blatant disdain of normal shit. Of course, he'd fucked it up, how could he not? 

“Fuck, Morty, I just can’t fucking- fucking hell.” Rick laughed and looked up at the ceiling, damn he didn’t know what the fuck he was going to do. 

He drank his flask to the last drop and looked at Morty again. He looked so hurt, and it made Rick feel something he wouldn't name, and he realized that he couldn’t be near Morty right now.

“You better - better fucking g-get over me, Morty, go - go fuck Jessica or Brad I don’t give a fuck who, do whatever you gotta do.” Rick couldn’t deal with this, couldn’t look at Morty anymore, he looked so pathetic, and it almost made him want to hug his sorry ass. 

He could hear Morty sniffling and damn did it tug at his heart, it made him sick. He needed to get out of there. Rick grabbed the drugs from the floor, and he had the ship packed in no time. Morty hadn’t moved from his spot, and Rick only heard an occasional soft sniffle from him. He was glad he hadn't said a word, it made it easier for Rick to ignore him and keep his resolve to leave.

It wasn’t until he was in his ship and pulling away that Morty seemed to realize he was really leaving. That’s when he heard Morty start to call out his name, but it was too late, he was already in space before he'd finished. 

-

There weren't many places for Rick to go without Morty. But luckily one place he could go had everything he needed. Somewhere to sleep, places to drink, and no Galactic Federation to hassle him. It was a paradise for those who wanted to forget, and that’s precisely what he needed. Rick didn’t know how long he planned to stay, but he had to have this time alone.

The entire drive there his mind kept going back to the way Morty had looked on the floor. Back to how Morty had felt against him as he kissed Rick desperately. How long it took for him to even react to his grandson's kiss, it was insane to think a man his age with the life he’d lived could even freeze like that. He knew they needed enough time away from each other for both of their sakes. 

Once he arrived on the asteroid, he sold off all his drugs and found a place to stay. He had enough to stay for as long as he wanted, and there was nothing left for him to do but get drunk and high. Two familiar past times that consumed a majority of his life and sheltered him from reality. 

One week passed in the blink of an eye and soon each week bled into one another and time lost meaning for a while. At the height of his binge when he was blackout drunk and high on the strongest drugs, he could forget everything and all his worries melted away. But between those times forgetting wasn’t as smooth and he’d randomly picture Morty on the floor or have a dream about his grandson that would cause him to blindly grab for whatever around that could numb his thoughts until he needed another hit.

It was insane, he knew deep down that it shouldn’t have affected him this bad. But there was no denying that it did and some nights he’d wonder how much Morty had cried since he’d left. It was painful to think about even when he was sure that he’d done the best thing possible for them. These thoughts ate away at his mind between every high when he could no longer maintain the state of oblivion the drugs provided.

It was a continuous cycle of sincere regret and relative peace until he realized he couldn't take the torture anymore. He’d figure out what to say when he saw Morty again, maybe even apologize for being such a sack of shit. Rick had been gone too long he only had two options, go back or keep wallowing. Rick accepted that he had to deal with this, he’d spent long enough in his spiral of self-loathing. Rick knew he should have handled it better, should have been able to step his foot down and be done with it and he’d do it now. He owed it to himself and Morty to be there to help him even if it did turn out to be a shitty attempt. 

He still wasn’t sure what he would say when he got there, but as much as he didn’t like to admit it, he was becoming homesick.

-

Rick gazed down at the earth, his home; it’d been a little over two months since he’d left. Since Morty had shocked him and made him realize all the shit, he’d ignored. Earth was a reminder of his attachment to someone, and Rick couldn’t run away from that. He knew that wasting any more time would be pointless, nothing would change and he wanted to be back with his family. 

Even though he couldn't remember most of the days that had passed on the asteroid, it was surreal to return, after all that time. It was noon, and the sun was high above as Rick landed his ship in the driveway. Morty and Summer would be in school right now, and maybe that would give Rick a little time alone. Maybe he could just sit in the living room and pretend nothing had happened when Morty got home. He could apologize for being away for so long and continue doing the same shit he’d been doing for the last three years.

He knew that was only a fantasy, especially with how broken hearted Morty had looked on the floor. It’d haunted him in his dreams long enough to remind him that he’d wasted too much time. He knew there was nothing else to be done except wait and see what he and Morty would talk about. He loved the kid more than he ever admitted, it was irrational, and he’d repeatedly risk his life to keep Morty safe. He figured it was also the reason he’d reacted so strongly to one simple kiss. 

He’d always felt like nothing mattered, but then someone did, it’d thrown him off. Rick knew that he hurt those closest to him and had promised himself that he would try to protect Morty. He didn’t care that it was incest, not really, but he knew that If he and Morty ever entered any kind of relationship, it could only end badly. He’d hurt Morty in so many ways already, but he wouldn’t hurt him that way. 

Rick sighed when he realized he’d wasted even more time thinking about his reasons why again. The ship wasn’t going to give him any comfort, and he really did want to get through with this. He stepped out and surveyed the area, the grass hadn’t been cut in a while, and he figured Morty was skipping out on his chores. He noticed Beth’s car parked by the fence and began to wonder how much Morty had shared or if he’d said anything at all. He pushed the thought did down and opened the garage door. 

Rick cursed under his breath at the sight, the cabinets were open, and most of his inventions were thrown on the floor about half of them broken. He walked closer and noticed a thin layer of dust over most of it and wondered how long it’d been. Rick figured Morty might have done it, maybe because he was angry at him, but it looked more meditated then that. It was like someone had been searching for something. Maybe Morty had been trying to find a way to contact him, whatever the case he figured he would go easy on his grandson this time. 

He looked over the spot he’d left Morty and took a drink from his flask. He’d clean the mess up later, for now, he just wanted to get inside and forget why he’d left. He opened the door to the kitchen and was surprised by the mess. The sink was piled with dishes, and it looked like it hadn’t been washed in a while. He opened the fridge, surprised to see it empty with only a couple of containers of takeout on the bottom shelf, it looked like no one had cooked or cleaned in a while. 

He closed the fridge and grabbed his flask again, he drank from it as he wondered what the hell could have happened. Even with how important Beth thought he was, Rick doubted she’d take him leaving this hard. Even if she had, Summer or even Jerry would have taken over the chores. Rick was beginning to suspect that Morty had told them something and they were freaking out about it. He walked into the living room and was met with another room in disarray. There were bottles of wine toppled over, wine stains soaked into the carpet, and the coffee table was covered with old fast food bags. It had been two months since he’d left, if Morty had told them, he was sure they’d have sent him for help. 

Rick felt that something far more severe must have happened for the house to look like this. He capped his flask and put it back in his lab coat. He could feel anxiety fueled thoughts creeping into his mind as he realized he hadn’t heard a sound since he’d entered the house.

“Helloooo, any-uurrrpp- any b-body h-here?” His voice hadn’t come out as steady as he’d liked, but it didn’t give any of his thoughts away.

He checked his room and noticed that his covers and pillow were tucked into the corner as if someone had been huddling there. He imagined that it must have been Morty, maybe waiting for him and hoping he’d return. Rick didn’t want to think about that right now as he decided to check other parts of the house. He left the thought behind as he closed the door and continued his way to the stairs. 

He took a quick look at the dining room, noticing that the curtains were drawn and the table was bear. He ignored the questions floating in his mind and made his way upstairs. Rick couldn’t quell his dark thoughts as he reached the second floor and looked down the darkened hall. It was too quiet, he knew Beth was home yet he hadn’t heard a peep. Rick’s mouth felt too dry, but he resisted the urge to take another drink. He walked straight to Morty’s door; Rick knew he would be in school, he just needed to see his room, make sure it was okay. 

He opened the door and was met with a disturbingly pristine room, it looked as if no one had lived in there for a while. He swallowed not feeling so sure about his guesses now the urgent nagging that something was wrong eating away on his mind. His hands felt shaky, and he let it slip off the doorknob, he left Morty’s door open and walked towards his daughter’s room. 

“Beth?” He knocked on the door, and it felt like someone else had taken over his body.

“Dad?” Her voice sounded scratchy through the door and Rick could tell that she’d been crying.

He listened to the sound of wine bottles banging and rolling on the floor as she made her way to the door. He noticed how shaky his hands were again as his daughter slowly opened it. She was a mess, it looked like she’d been crying and drinking for days. She looked up at him with bloodshot eyes and stared at him for too long. He’d usually crack a joke or ask her what her deal was, but he found that he couldn’t use his voice, so he waited.

Her lips quivered, and she took a shaky breath, tears rolled down her cheeks, and Rick couldn’t move. “Dad…Da-Dad...M-Morty…” She paused as if she was trying to figure out how to tell him.

For a moment, it felt like time had paused, and that was stupid. Rick knew how to stop time; he could distinctly hear the tick of a clock off in the distance. His daughter was talking again, and he listened but didn’t hear what she’d said. Another thought that Rick immediately realized was nonsense, how could he not hear her when she was mere inches away. Stammering out words that made sentences that had meanings.

She was staring at him now, waiting for some sort of reaction. Rick clenched his jaw he could feel his heart racing, and he replayed her words in his mind. He’d heard them, those words that didn’t seem real and couldn’t have been right. But they were real, it was true, and he had to accept what she’d said. 

Morty was dead. 

“Dad?” He realized he’d been standing silently for too long, processing words that were simple and making a bigger deal out of this than necessary. It was easy, simple, it couldn’t be more transparent, cut, and dry. Morty had died while he was gone. 

“How?” Rick’s voice was clipped, it sounded cold, and he could see a flit of anger cross Beth’s eyes before sadness consumed it.

“The-the doctors they didn’t know what it was, he j-just wouldn’t stop coughing, it was like cancer but-but worse…” 

“When-when did...” he die. He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

Beth stayed silent for a long while, and Rick could see she was trying to keep her composure.“La-Last week,” she finally managed her voice coming out broken as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. 

Rick thought back to the last time he'd laid eyes on Morty, the last planet they'd been on, the drugs he'd made, the aliens he'd killed. How Morty had grabbed as much as he could and followed Rick’s lead so loyally, always trying to get his approval. But that wasn't the point of this thought, he remembered the light coughing before the deal failed and the cough he'd had when they’d returned. The planet they'd been waiting on had pollen that was deadly to many species. They'd been in the city though, Morty had stayed close to him, but pollen traveled. Rick was already immune to it, and at the time all the flurbos he would make was all he could focus on. He could imagine himself whipping up a vaccine, throwing insults at Morty for being an idiot, so he didn't take it seriously. It was only three ingredients, it was so simple, as simple as it should have been to just tell Morty no after his kiss.

Rick ran a shaky hand over his face, the realization of how real this was gripping him. He shouldn't care this much, especially when he'd seen so many dead Mortys in his life...but this was different, this was HIS Morty that had suffered. He'd died from something he could have cured in five minutes tops. Just because Rick had been too much of a pussy to talk to him, too much of a wimp to return sooner. He heard the sound of a door opening and someone walking towards him. 

“You killed Morty!” she yelled at him, and it jarred him out of his thoughts. He turned and saw that it was Summer and she looked just as bad as Beth, her eyes were bloodshot, but instead of sadness, her eyes were filled with anger and hatred directed at him.

“Summer!” Beth screamed though she didn’t move as Summer marched towards him with purpose. 

“He suffered because of you, I had to watch my brother die because you took him somewhere and he caught something deadly! You left him here to die, you asshole!” Summer yelled as she jabbed her finger painfully into Rick’s chest. “You killed Morty! You ma-made him fucking die, you heartless son-of-a-bitch!”

She seemed to lose some steam as her voice lowered, “Like you care though? You're a selfish, unfeeling asshole, just like dad says.”

“Summer, don’t say that!” Summer turned and glared at Beth. “Really, Mom, you’re going to defend him after he killed your son?”

“No! But, ho-how do we know if-,”

“Mom, are you really that blind?!? Where do you think Morty caught that disease from, huh? Every day he got dragged off by Rick, and you just let him take Morty wherever, whenever!” Beth flinched, and he realized that she blamed herself for this too. Summer turned her angry gaze back to Rick. Before he could catch on to what Summer was doing her fist was already slamming into his face. 

He didn’t have the will, energy or sense of mind to even shield himself and he went down hard. He vaguely heard Beth shout out and Summer scream as he dropped down and sprawled out over the floor. He could see his daughter standing between him and Summer who looked ready to hit him again. He looked past them and focused on Morty’s partly open door into his room. Morty would never be in there again, he’d never be able to drag Morty out on another adventure, never get to go on some drunken tirade, and he’d never be able to tell him he was sorry for it all. 

Rick turned his head and looked up at the ceiling before placing both hands over his face. He felt the despair well up from somewhere deep. The thread that held him together had slowly been breaking, and now it had finally torn loose. The flood of emotions was so strong and his despair so heavy that it felt like he wouldn’t survive another second. There was no mercy, though, as he let loose a body racking sob that shook him to the core before the tears began to fall. It was as if a dam had broken and there was no way he could stop it.

He didn’t know when they’d stopped yelling or when Beth had pulled him into a hug. Would never be able to say precisely what kind of apologies he’d babbled as he cried his heart out. It was so foreign, so rare, such an anomaly that he couldn’t begin to process any thoughts that may have passed his mind in that moment. For the first time since he’d discovered multiverses, since realizing how feeble the world was and how insignificant everything was, he felt something. Something that couldn’t be repaired with science or time, he felt genuinely crushed at that moment. This was his universe, it was his entire life, his Morty that he’d abandoned and because of that his grandson was gone forever. 

His eyes stung, his throat burned, he could barely breathe through his nose. His chest hurt in a way he couldn't describe and he kept going over conversations and moments he'd shared with Morty. He would never have that again, and he knew that his world was over. Any chance at finding some semblance of sound thought was lost, all he could think about was every moment he’d had with Morty. Every conversation, celebration, argument, it was all there so far away but so close. 

His breathing came out in labored pants as his body shook from how hard he was crying. Again time was lost to him, and he held onto Beth as he cried for everything lost. 

After a long while he opened his eyes, he could feel the sting of tears rolling down his cheek. The house seemed brighter, and he realized that Beth was mumbling something. Summer had leaned against the wall and was now staring at the carpet. He could see that her hand was bruised and saw drops of blood soaked into it. He could feel the dull ache of his broken nose as he sat there and stared at the carpet. This was a familiar pain, one that was easily fixable, one that he’d experienced so many times before. 

“I…” Rick began, but he didn’t know what he wanted to say. What excuse could he make for leaving the way he had?

He didn’t know, and he couldn’t think up the words he needed. It was the first time for that and the first time he’d hugged Beth to comfort himself along with her. He closed his eyes and held onto his daughter, she was his anchor for the moment. 

It hadn’t lasted long enough, and it'd taken too long, and he found himself following Beth down the stairs with Summer following behind. No one had said a word, but he knew it would come eventually. He followed her into the dining room and they each took a seat at the table. Rick noticed how much the sun had traveled from the sunlight peeking through the curtains and briefly wondered how much he’d cried. He looked over at his daughter, then at his granddaughter, and his heart was laden with guilt. There was no way for him to block the knowledge of how awful it was to die the way Morty had. He knew the pain must have been unbearable, and his heart ached. 

“Morty...” Beth began, and Rick turned to look at her. “He-he just kept saying he was sorry... kept saying he needed to apologize to you. What happened, dad?”

What happened? 

The question echoed in his mind as he gazed down at the table. He knew they’d wait and he could make up some bullshit story if he tried to. But Rick couldn't do that, even though he was aware that it would make it easier for them to accept. It was impossible for him to even think something up and he knew that even though the implications of what Morty had wanted was shameful Morty had been a good kid. He was sure that his family was aware of that too.

He closed his eyes and let out a drawn-out sigh before looking at his daughter.

“We-we got back from a busted drug deal…” He could feel Summer's eyes burning into him, Beth’s expression hadn't changed though, she'd known about the dangers. “Morty had been acting funny, so I asked him…” He could clearly picture the resolve in his grandson’s face when he'd made up his mind. “Then...he fucking kissed me like-like-like some-”

“Oh my God,” Rick looked over and saw that Summer had covered her mouth, her eyes shining with tears. There was a look of understanding on her face, though.

“I left after that,” he finished and waited.

“Morty he-he - I was teasing him…” Summer shook her head as she ran her hands over her hair, her elbows resting on the table, and she stared down. “I knew he had a crush on someone for a while, I told him to just go for it.”

Rick looked over at Beth and could see that her hand was trembling. There wasn’t a look of accusation or anger, just shock and he thought that he must have looked like that when the kiss had happened. 

“I’m sorry,” it was pointless to apologize now, but it was something that he had to do. It didn’t change a thing, and Rick had always thought apologies were meaningless, but it was the best he could offer. Because he was very very sorry, so sorry for the pain and the agony and his weakness. But his daughter could take his apology in any way it would work for her.

He imagined the questions she must have had, maybe she’d finally found a reason to blame him. No matter how much his daughter idolized him, there was no way around the facts. He’d let greed, selfishness and neglect cloud his judgment and it had been the cause of Morty’s death. His Morty. It echoed in his mind again, his irreplaceable grandson was now gone. Yes, there were other versions, but it didn’t matter to Rick, he couldn’t even bear the thought of replacing him.

“I noticed him sometimes...God, I can’t believe I didn’t see it.” Beth sounded angry, but it was directed at herself. “He looked at you like a...like a lovesick puppy.” 

Rick knew what she was talking about because he’d ignored the hints too. He imagined if everything was the way it had been, that they still would be oblivious to it. Morty had shown signs, Rick could recall them all, knew that he’d unintentionally fed into them. He reminded himself that that was why he was sorry too because he was weak and fleeing was the only way he could keep himself together, keep his family safe, and stop himself from hurting Morty. Now that didn’t really seem like a good enough reason, he should have been stronger, more logical.

Rick drew in a deep breath, and a jab of pain reminded him Summer had broken his nose. He’d deserved it really, there was no way around that. He should have made better decisions, gone down a different path and maybe an alternate version of him had, maybe there was a version of him that was happy and oblivious. Of course, there was, it wasn’t even a question that he needed to ask. It didn’t make it better or worse, it was just a fact, it would always be a fact.

“You should have told us.” Summer said it so low that he almost missed it, but when he turned to his granddaughter, she was looking at him. Her emotions weren’t so easy to read right now, but he could see that she’d gone down a path that led to Rick being the cause for it all. “Why did you leave?” 

It was a question that Rick didn’t want to answer, he hadn’t let himself focus on the exact reason for that in all the time he’d been away. But now confronted with the fact that Morty was gone, it was easier to say and more painful to admit to himself. Beth hadn’t said a word, and he knew that she wanted to know too.

“I didn’t want to hurt him.”

Summer face twisted in revulsion and he listened to the sob that Beth couldn’t hold back. It was warranted, he deserved these looks yet never thought that he’d actually see them. It was pointless to admit it, but Rick didn’t have the strength to lie, it wasn’t as if it really mattered. His own admission was to his play in this, he’d been the reason Morty’s life had ended. Again he thought about how blinded he’d been before and that nothing could fix this. But he couldn’t allow himself to cry again, he’d had his one moment for self-pity, and it was over. Now it was time for him to answer whatever questions they had until he couldn’t stand their accusing eyes and tears.

“You’re disgusting!” Summer yelled what he was sure his daughter was thinking.

“I know,” Rick somberly replied, he wasn’t going to argue that point, he’d known it ever since that kiss. Maybe it was his lack of fight and flat reply, but it seemed to surprise Summer, and he could see a flit of questioning over her features. 

Should she be so angry at him? 

Rick knew the answer to that, they both should have known the answer, he was angry with himself. So angry that he’d wasted so much time away, completely forgetting tiny details that he’d have noticed any other day and being affected by something as small as a kiss for so long. He could go over and over these thoughts as much as he wanted, but it didn’t matter.

He sat silently as Beth cried into her hands, waiting to take anything she said, to give her some semblance of closure. She didn’t say anything though and minutes ticked by with only the sound of sharp intakes of breath every so often. 

It was Summer abruptly getting up without a word that seemed to bring her back. Beth looked up at Summer a pained expression over her features. Summer looked like she wanted to say something, but she remained silent, avoiding either of their gazes as she turned and left the dining room.

It wasn't until Summer door closed did Beth speak, “He kept apologizing...up until the last few hours until he couldn’t speak,” she wiped a few tears. “I kept asking him why, why are you sorry Morty. But he just wouldn't say.” She had the answer now. 

There was a distant expression on her face when she finally looked at him again. “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah.” 

Beth nodded, she’d already accepted that he knew she would. Rick couldn’t stay there after everything, he couldn’t look at his daughter without feeling the guilt gnaw away at him. They could have spoken about so many other things, but it wouldn’t change this. Rick felt that his time was over, their moment had passed, and the truth was out, there was nothing left for him to do. 

He stood up slowly and looked at Beth. “I...do, you want some Meeseeks?” 

“Do you think they’ll help?” She asked softly.

Rick was aware that she talking about more than just cleaning.“Yeah, they will.” 

“Okay.” Beth pressed her lips together, her eyes wet again but she didn't cry. She stood up and rounded the table to offer Rick one last hug. He didn’t deserve it, she should have known that by now but he accepted it anyway. Rick wanted to provide her with so much more, a clone, a replacement, an opportunity to forget everything. But he couldn't offer that, he couldn't erase his grandson, couldn't bear the thought of Morty being forgotten. 

She let go and looked up at him a sad smile on her face.

"Thanks."

Beth left him standing alone in the kitchen with his thoughts. He didn’t let his mind wander, he wouldn’t worry, wouldn’t think about anything except his offer. Rick walked into his garage and found the Meeseeks box in one of his secret compartments. Hidden away in case someone else tried to request something nearly impossible. 

He pressed the button and gave out orders several times, moving and talking on autopilot. They would be okay, their house would be cleaned, life would resume for them one day. He left without a second glance, anything that might have been important to him at one point didn’t matter anymore. 

He left the house both in body and mind and entered his ship. He flew up slowly, not sure where he wanted to go, while completely aware of where he wanted to go at the same time. He found himself heading for the cemetery not wanting to see but needing to see. Rick didn’t need to look very long, it was Jerry standing beside a grave that tipped him off. 

Rick kept out of sight and settled in some nearby trees and waited. Rick sat there unmoving for almost an hour until Jerry finally walked away. He flew down when he was sure Jerry was gone and parked near his grandsons grave. He walked over to the spot falling to his knees without meaning to and looked at the grave before him.

It hadn't been long enough for a tombstone to be made. He looked at the plastic placer and read Morty's name; it almost felt like some kind of lucid a nightmare. Except it wasn't and this was a reality he couldn't deny, it hurt. It hurt more than he could have ever imagined, and there was nothing for him to do. He read the date of birth and death and tears stung his eyes as he stared down at too fresh dirt and gazed over the flowers and keepsakes piled together. 

He didn't have anything to offer, nothing to say as he took deep, shaky breaths trying to will the sting of tears away. It didn't work, and he found himself helpless as he cried a second time that day. There was no relief in his tears, and a cold feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. 

He sat there crying until the sun set over the horizon no longer able to provide any warmth. He stayed until the chill of the night seeped through his lab coat, and his knees went numb. Until there was nothing left for him to do but leave. 

He climbed into his ship and left it all behind.

Rick didn't look back as he left the earth's atmosphere and headed out into space with no destination in mind. He traveled through space and looked out at the empty expanse regretting that he’d ruined the magic of it for Morty. Rick wished he could apologize, wished he could go back and fix his mistakes. But there were no redos, only mistakes, regrets and an unending sea of despair.

His intelligence had been a curse and if there was any way it could have been seen as a blessing it had been shattered long ago. All the alcohol he drank and drugs he’d taken was a reminder of that. 

It had taken him so long to realize that as pointless as life felt that it was actually amazing. That having someone to care about and having someone care about you gave you importance. The realization didn’t help the pain though and he found that the most tragic part was that it didn’t matter.

Because he was one of billions, one outcome, one story, one mistake and this was the end.

**Author's Note:**

> First started in 2017 with the idea of writing something sad. I like the cliche kiss Rick unexpectedly trope and decided to go with a different more emotional outcome. Thank you for reading!


End file.
